BLACK LIVES MATTER
Part 2 | Benita Bailey
Actress, Director, Activist and Creator of #Yellit
July 17 2020
“The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of this is necessary. There will always be one more thing.“
—Toni Morrison, referenced by Benita Bailey
Benita is an Ethiopian-German woman who grew up in a small town called Rudolstadt in Germany, currently living in Toronto with her husband and two children. She’s an actress, filmmaker and activist. She’s also creator of the new Youtube channel #Yellit, which is focused on conversations amongst Black artists for in-depth perspectives of their art and their lives. I’m honoured that she offered so much of her time to speak with me amidst her busy schedule.
Benita and I met, conversed and held a simultaneous photoshoot via FaceTime. Due to COVID-19, this was an appropriate self-portrait of her daily life, and my first virtual photoshoot! We had that hilarious moment (that some people dread) when Benita stood up for the first time on camera and said, “Oh, I’m not wearing pants. It’s too hot! I’m at home with my family all the time anyways”. I loved that we went with it for the first portion of the shoot - it simply adds as a sign of the times.
Two strangers in in one afternoon can only scratch the surface, but I clearly see a multifaceted woman. Throughout her life she’s experienced pain and difficulty as a Black woman, but that’s not all that defines her. She has passion advocating for important matters. She’s vivacious, generous, loving, and has a quirky sense of humour.
“At that time, this stereotype was simply the end-all of beauty standards. how could it [then] be possible for girls of colour to feel relatable?”
Growing up, she was the only Black girl at her elementary as well as her high school. She had a strong group of friends, an active participation outside of class, and a healthy amount of confidence. She’s not sure that her peers would have realized that there was a build up of emotional damage already at that time. When Benita had her first boyfriend, she felt he had to be “brave” for going out with her. The boys in her school lusted after the Pamela Andersons of the world, hanging photos in their lockers (before you ask, it was the Bay Watch era). At that time, this stereotype was simply the end-all of beauty standards. If it was all that was featured in magazines, on television, and subsequently in boys lockers, how could it be possible for girls of colour to feel relatable? Or, to the white skinned dolls and princesses from their childhood? She remembers the moment, as a young adult, when she realized people could genuinely find her beautiful; and she hardly believed it at first. She came to this realization in Johannesburg, South Africa, where for the first time in her life she wasn’t seen as part of a Minority group. Today, Benita believes that this moment marks the turning point - her Self-love journey began. There has been improvements since her youth such as the inclusion of multi-race dolls and POCs on television, but the exclusion is still an incredibly huge problem.
“Her mother walked with her on the street, and a large 16 year-old boy pulled them into an alley - threatening to kill them.”
Benita shared that racist encounters happen to her regularly. She acted out one gesture through the camera, a finger sliding across her neck. One of the most traumatic encounters in her memory was in first grade. Her mother was walking with her on the street, and a large 16 year-old boy, a frightening man to Benita’s young eyes, pulled them into an alley - threatening to kill them. Because they were Black. Let this sink in. Thankfully neither of them were physically harmed; but the emotional damage was done.
Benita has lived with systemic racism: those who make excuses to exclude her and all POCs from opportunities, including but not limited to her career on the stage. And like fuel over flames, Black men and women are gaslit into questioning their own civil rights.
At the top of the call, she told me that her focus is “growing and healing”. She says there is a lot of work to be done for Black people, and I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. She highly encourages therapy for people who have emotional damage built up over their lifetime. It’s great to speak up for the cause and educate white people, but their healing should also happen in a controlled and healthy environment.
A lot of racist people know nothing of the pain they cause. They argue their side, even though arguments have no merit if your side is the only one you think you understand. Benita referenced a poignant quote which illustrates this so well:
“The most dangerous world views are the world views of those who have never viewed the world.”
